This has been one of those stay inside days. I feel like I just woke up, and I've only walked about 2500 steps all day. I feel a little like the puppy in the crate, and the walls are closing in on me. I haven't really done much of anything today that I can point to and say, "there, that is the masterful mark I have left on this day." "Here is my gift to the world!" But maybe I expect too much of a snow day.
When I look at this day differently, maybe I did do something of value. I talked on the phone with my sister-in-law for an hour and a half about our kids, and life, and being a good mom. That wasn't sewing clothes for the orphans of Africa, but I love Arlea, and she makes me feel like my advice and experience are valued, as well as my friendship. She is a blessing to me, and I hope I am to her as well. I'm glad Adam picked her.
Then I was on the phone with my sister for a while. I love my sister dearly, and I owe her my life. I like talking to her (and texting, even when it is questionably appropriate.) It may have looked like I was just wasting time, but I think I was choosing to spend it with her. She makes me feel valued and loved, too. I hope she knows how much her friendship means to me, sister or no sister.
I did get some emails sent, and checked to find out if our plans were still on for tonight, which was questionable, given the snow day. They were. I made a few doctor and dentist appointments that needed to be made, and got out a recipe for Lydia to make a batch of cookies that were delicious (and quickly devoured.
Then my heart sister called, and we talked out how our meeting is going to look. I'm very excited about having our first EVER WomenHeart Support group meeting in Kalamazoo, and so is Sherry. I'm a little nervous, since there is an elephant in my room today, and I'm not willing to acknowledge him yet. Maybe tomorrow. I am certain it will all come pouring out very soon, but not tonight.
Today I did do some good things. I watched my son receive awards for Cross Country and football. I allowed my kids to go sledding at the park, and playing in the snow. I allowed them a day off to goof around and watch a little TV. I listened to my friends and sisters.
When I was at NCYC, we were asked to choose a leaf. On that leaf, we were asked to write down one thing we would do when we returned home to honor Jesus. I wrote "Listen Better." I'm not a very good listener, sorry. I try to be, but I usually only catch bits, and then I wish I could rewind the whole conversation, because I wanted to catch it all, but only pieces stick in my head. This is a problem when I'm writing news-type stories, or trying to remember details like names and dates. But I'm trying hard to listen.
When I came out of the gym from the awards banquet, the kids had gone ahead of me and were happily arguing over who got the front seat, and if someone was a noob for locking the others out of the van, and all the other joys of being siblings. I looked out over the snow, and had that sensation I used to love as a child. I looked at that hill in the crisp air, and the snow looked like piles of millions of sparkling diamonds that God had poured out there just for me to see. It's like he wants me to look at it and see, "this is what you are worth to me."
I was listening today, and I heard, "You are Loved."